starting from shit

I'm not too keen on shit like this, especially as this is my first internet post ever and I'm slightly drunk from the night before and a few glasses of wine the next morning. I cook. Very honestly I couldn't tell you why. Mostly it's  an accident. I needed a job while living broke as shit in Portland (the worst of cities to be broke in besides Detroit) and I filled out an application for a kitchen not knowing what to expect. Now, before I continue, a little history of mine will tell you that I've worked in restaurants since I was 15. Be it, dish pit, server, under age bartender pouring too much tequila for the heightened tip... I did it. It was at that corner of northwest 21st and kearney that two gay owners and a earing wielding chef showed me that this shit is much more than just a supremely lame pay check. This shit isn't just sustenance, it's the very thing that keeps you more than alive.If you can't get your rocks off from eating dry cured pork that derives its tradition from a century ago? FUCK YOU. So as not give any grand illusions, let me say this; I don't have any sort of culinary degree and sometimes (most times) I find myself confused as to why I even give a shit about this industry. (granted its fucked me over a few times in my upbringing) The industry has always been there for me. Be it money, a job, companionship, especially the coveted drink in a time of need, it has provided for me. And I won't lie, it's the only thing up until this point of my life that I could wake up in the morning, all the while too early, and enjoy doing for no pay. Is that insanity or passion? I'm gonna say it's insanity mixed with adrenaline, because passion (atleast for me just yet) is an absurd term. I just love hustlin and doin shit that faggot ass rubes don't take the time to do for themselves. And carrying that bead of sweat over someones table when really?... it's so simple. Not only is the shit that you come in to eat from my hands your sustenance?... it's your joy, but you want someone else to save you the trouble of doing it. ME! I love cooking for snooty lawyers, politicos, the fuckin boat toating asshole just to show my face at the table and say something to the likes of "yeah, I cooked your awesome (mostly not so awesome) food" just to try and bring a common thread between myself and people who I could never associate with... FOOD. It's fucking simple. Call me what you will. I'll be the first to tell you I'm a shit head with an obscure and ultimately doomed/delighted determination for making the stuff you shove in your mouth. Inevitably; my meat.