Never too old for a roller coaster

For a while now I didn't know what or why to write about anything. Then I realized that the struggle is also a viable subject to write about. This is not a venting session of whoe is me. Simply a memoir of recent happenings and a record of the ups and downs. I hope this finds its way into the hands of rookies to let them know a little bit of truth regarding the harshness of the industry. (I'm still a rookie too)
    A while back I mentioned about a stage I was doing at the famous "feast" restaurant. I had been there putting in upwards to 30 hours a week for free hoping to score a job. Well the time had come for me to get a solid yes or no and unfortunately the answer was no. Initially there was an immense feeling of rage, as I felt my legs had been cut out from under me. But I understand this is just the way things pan out. Take it with a grain of salt etc. I gained a whole heep of knowledge and new friends, so its not a total loss by any means.
   Reluctantly, I've been waiting tables in the morning to 1. keep money in my pockets of course 2. to stay in the industry to keep learning. In fact its mind boggling to see the other side of a restaurant again after so many years. And equally as frustrating.
     I got fired from my only stable cooking job I had and subsequently went to jail in the same week and spent my entire birthday in a cell. In between all these events, I've had good times. Productive good times, I should say. I've learned more than I can process in the past few months about various cooking techniques. I've enjoyed great food with old and new friends. I got to take a vacation to a great city with great friends. So all in all, every end of the spectrum was covered: happy, sad, angry, sullen.
   Day after day I'm naturally finding out what I'm good at and what I want to do just by my own actions. For instance, I continue to look for cooking jobs. And not just cooking. I find myself, without contemplating, knocking on the doors of the best restaurants in town. This action helps me, and encourages me that I actually want to do something pertaining to food. And I want to do it well. It's a strange way of motivating ones self.
     I have just acquired (seriously this time) the day time lead cook position at one of the best seafood restaurants in the city. And from what I read, one of the top 50 seafood restaurants in the country. It's a start in the right direction. I think I'll gain a lot more perspective on respect and integrity from this place, which will ultimately translate into the pride I will take in my learning and care I will take for my very own food.
     The only wrench in the spokes is a have to go back to being an early bird. No sweat.